Again
by Keoko-sama
Summary: eh, this is probably more G. but the rating will go up with later chapters. this is a 3x4 songfic! Shounen-ai! Don't read if it offends you! Semi-angsty songfic, poor Quatre. Poor Trowa. okay, please Read and Review! Thanx!


Again  
  
*Waves* hi everybody!! Okay, so this is really only my 3rd fic, and my first gundam wing one, as well as my first shounen ai story. And I switch POV's randomly. So bear with me!! Um... yeah, that will do.  
  
Warnings: ummm.... angst? No, not really angst... definite hints of shounen ai and yaoi. God, I don't know. If you don't like the thought of two guys being intimate, then I suggest you leave... that's all I can come up with for the moment.  
  
Disclaimer: unfortunately, I do not own gundam wing *big goofy duo grin* if I did the boys would take up personal residence in my bed ^___________^ but since all I have are a *few* stuffed animals, I suggest you don't try to sue me, cuz hell will freeze over before you win. Oh, and I don't own the song "again" it belongs to Lenny Kravitz. On with the Show!!!  
  
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::I've been searching for you  
I heard a cry within my soul  
I've never had a yearning quite like this before  
Now that you are walking right through my door::  
  
Those eyes. Distant. It seemed like we were miles apart. As I stared into the depths, trying to reach his soul, I felt a pull. Something calling to me. I kept staring, not worrying about what he might be thinking about me, just... staring at him.  
  
::All of my life  
Where have you been  
I wonder if I'll ever see you again::  
  
There. That flicker of... pain? No, at least not physically. Loneliness maybe.. I can't tell, the look in his eyes is gone. His eyes are distant again. But I can still fell the loneliness. And it hurts. How can he be lonely?  
  
::And if that day comes  
I know we could win::  
  
I recover quickly, acting more like the gundam pilot that I am. I often slip into these states of thinking, concentrating on one of his lovely features. Today it was his eyes. They were so sad. So lonely. Something was wrong. I just chose to deny it.  
  
::I wonder if I'll ever see you again::  
  
::A sacred gift of heaven  
For better worse, wherever::  
  
He's staring. I wonder if he knows. If he can tell. I've tried so hard to hide my emotions, but Quatre knows me better than anyone. He reads my heart. That's why it hurts to leave him.  
  
::And I would never let somebody break you down  
Until you cried, never::  
  
He's fidgeting. He can't stand the silence. Even being around me, he's become used to it. Yet the park, the bench by the lake, where we have spent countless days, the park is unusually quiet, and the silence eats at him. I need to tell him. Soon. Or else I'll be too afraid to. Too afraid of what he might think, what he might say.  
  
::All of my life  
Where have you been  
I wonder if I'll ever see you again::  
  
"Quatre..." I don't even have to look at him. We're sitting so close, I fell his head turn to look at me. It's maddening, having the huge beautiful eyes watching you. If I looked at him now, I would lose my soul to them.  
  
::And if that day comes  
I know we could win  
I wonder if I'll ever see you again::  
  
I took a deep breath and said a prayer to some higher being. "The circus..." I paused, then slowly continued, "The circus is leaving."  
  
::At every time I've always known  
That you where there, upon your throne::  
  
"Oh," I started, "I will miss Catherine..."  
  
My heart ached. That wasn't all, I could tell. My mind trembled with fear. I didn't want to lose Trowa. But here I was, slowly letting my heart and soul slip through my fingers.  
  
Trowa took a deep, shuddering breath. I knew what was coming, but I got there first.  
  
"You're leaving, aren't you?"  
  
::A lonely queen without her king  
I longed for you, my love forever::  
  
Damn it. I could hear the pain in his voice, a pain he should never have to suffer. And I was causing it.  
  
I steadied myself, and let out a quiet, "Yes." I still hadn't made eye contact, let alone face him.  
  
"How long?" was the quiet question.  
  
"Eight months, at the least," was my reply.  
  
::All of my life  
Where have you been  
I wonder if I'll ever see you again::  
  
Eight months. Humph. My mind laughed at that. I knew he was going to be gone longer. He was running. My heart clenched at the thought. Trowa was running from me.  
  
::And if that day comes  
I know we could win::  
  
I took a chance, and looked at him. He was silent. I saw the pain on his face. He was thinking, staring at his hands, which continued to fidget. I instinctly grabbed one, startling Quatre out of his reverie. I slowly brought it to my lips, and kissed the soft pale skin, keeping my eyes locked with his aquamarine ones. "I'm sorry," I whispered, softly, yet fiercely.  
  
::I wonder if I'll ever see you again::  
  
Those lips. So soft. The memories poured in. His lips on mine, gently, so soft. I don't even want to think of what it will be like, not being able to touch those lips, look into his eyes, hear his voice.  
  
::All of my life  
Where have you been  
I wonder if I'll ever see you again::  
  
Then my resolve kicks in. He's leaving, and I can't stop him. I can't drag him into my world, when his is so different.  
  
::And if that day comes  
I know we could win::  
  
I ease my hand from his, and stand, not looking Trowa in the eyes. Instead I stare at the lake, the water sparkling under the mid-day sun. I fell him stand behind me. I turn facing him, and look him straight in the eyes, and said, "I understand. Goodbye, Trowa."  
  
::I wonder if I'll ever see you again::  
  
With that, I turn and walk out of the park, starting out for my home, only a few blocks away. I leave Trowa there, watching me, letting me go home, only to cry in my room, to remember our love, while he just stands there, with a frown on his face. He lets me be the one to walk out of his life, instead of the other away around. And yet, I still hurt.  
  
::All of my life  
Where have you bee  
I wonder if I'll ever see you again::  
  
And his eyes flicker. And his pain, sadness, and aching loneliness is bared to the world, and not a soul sees it. And as quick as it comes, it's gone again. If only I could be so lucky. I can't hide my emotions like him or Heero.  
  
::And if that day comes  
I know we could win::  
  
And with a quiet, "Goodbye, love," the silent stranger is gone, walking a separate path from his love, and walking out of the Arab's life.  
  
::I wonder if I'll ever see you again::  
  
  
  
~TBC?  
  
  
So whatcha think? I am actually planning to make this a trilogy songfic series, but I'm not sure. Should I continue? Review please! *puppy dog eyes* Pluhweese????  
  
I dedicate this to my friend Lime, who if she doesn't get the next chapter put out soon for Falling Sakura, will be in VERY big trouble. *glare* I know where you live!!  
  
REVIEW!!! NOW! MWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!  
  



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